7 Days in Ubud, Bali (Day Four)

Day Four in Ubud, Bali

Our 4th day in Ubud, Bali, started much like all the others. Are you surprised by now? We are creatures of habit after all. Breakfast, when provided by the hotel, and included in the price of our stay, is hard to pass up. Even when you consider the amazing food just outside and down every street in Ubud.

We are just determined to not have to hunt for food first thing in the morning. It’s a decision we made long ago when we began full time travel, and haven’t regretted it once. We are reluctant to book a hotel that doesn’t provide breakfast. Because who really wants to make decisions about every meal every day? It gets old, it really does.

That said, we ate breakfast and then went to have more treatments! Our massages started at the same time, but mine ended an hour before Jill’s so we just decided to meet up at a lunch spot around 1p. Given the slow Bali vibe, we didn’t wind up getting our food until about 2. It was amazingly delicious and vegan, but more about that later.

First let me tell you about my massage! It was intensely intimate. More so than many massages I’ve had in the past. I don’t know, maybe it was the way she touched me, but it was a little less business and had a little more flourish. It was all I could do to not sport an erection. I know, it’s natural. I’m sorry if you thought this blog was for all ages. It’s not. Sorry if you don’t like the word erection or thinking of penises. Fact is, I have one and sometimes it has a mind of it’s own. I hear this is normal. In fact, erections are normal, but I try to keep my thoughts strictly professional when getting a massage, because who needs to see that while they are working? Nobody really. Unless you are in the sex industry I guess. Which I’m not. Nor are the people I pay for massage.

It’s got to be a usual scenario in Asia and around the world for men to proposition women during massages. I mean, there is that punch line about happy endings that by this time just isn’t even funny anymore, if it ever was. So I try to keep that under wraps. Sometimes I’m successful. But sometimes it’s harder than others. Pun intended.

{update: I was looking at our keyword traffic for the site, and it turns out that this page keeps getting traffic when people search for “happy ending ubud” which I find simply hilarious. Sorry that when you come to this page looking for a happy ending, you aren’t getting one…}

So I got the rub down and then she applied a rice and herb mix that then dried on my skin before she broke it off and swept it all away.  While doing this I could hear her filling a bath with water. When I was all scrubbed down she indicated that I was to shower off the remaining bits of dried crusty herbs and then hop in the bath.

7 Days in Ubud Bali

I was wearing one of those embarrassing meshy disposable undergarments they give you. If you haven’t seen one, just know that it’s difficult to distinguish the front from the back, and it leaves you feeling about as comfortable as a hospital gown. I wasn’t about to shower in this baggy euro diaper thong, so asked her if it was okay if I removed it. It wasn’t really a question, I guess, but I wanted her to know that I was about to get fully naked. She just shrugged and started sweeping the floor, so I took it off and stepped up under the nozzle. Of course there was no curtain for the shower. Of course there wasn’t any hot water. It was all in the giant bathtub behind me, which I may let you know was filled with rose petals. She continued to sweep up the floor, sometimes with her back to me discreetly, other times not at all. So since she decided she was comfortable with this, I decided I was too. She got to the door with her broom and opened it so she could sweep the herbal bits into the hallway. Thankfully nobody was walking by, because as I mentioned, I was taking a shower. Then again, who the hell cares anyway? We all have bodies. They all need to be washed. And from walking around Ubud for a few days, some really need to be washed more frequently.  

She turned to face me just as I was making sure to rinse under all my hanging bits and asked me if I would like ginger tea, juice or coffee brought to me in the bath. I looked up, expecting her to be studying her feet, but nope, she was looking me right in the eye. "Ginger tea," I said.

Now I don’t know about you, but I’m no expert at receiving a cup of hot liquids while reclining in a tub full of rose petals. I had them arranged just perfectly so that when she came back, she wouldn’t see more of my bits and pieces, but as soon as I shifted to reach towards her, they all floated away and she got another eyeful. Obviously she doesn’t care, so at this point, neither should I, right? There was no real lip on the tub, so I had to balance the cup and saucer very delicately on my knee. She gave me a gracious smile and departed, leaving me to contemplate the rose petals and their supposed romance.

That was really the highlight of the day! After that I paid and went for a walk towards the restaurant where Jill and I were to meet. The food was amazing, as I mentioned before. Really incredible. Made with love for sure. I recounted my tale to Jill while we waited for our food and soon we were on our way to our evening yoga classes. Mine was a traditional yin class, which is where you hold each pose for about 3 or 4 minutes, really getting deep. It’s not really relaxing, but I always manage to forget that I’m in a yoga class.

You might think that our days in Ubud are only filled with eating and yoga, and you would be right. That’s really the only reason we came to Ubud. This is why we aren’t moving around and visiting other parts of Bali.

Needless to say, after yoga we went out for a bite to eat. This time at a café that was filled with westerners and their kids who treated the whole place like a second living room. It was quite obnoxious and by the end (even though the food was really really good) we were totally maxed out on listening to children scream and beat drums and cry and yell and run up and down the restaurant. We timed our departure with theirs unfortunately, so we had a hard time even getting out the door.

Wondering what Day 5 in Ubud will hold for us? I’m sure you already know most of it already, right? Well you may be in for a little surprise.

This is day four of our 7 days in Ubud, Bali. To read more, choose from the list below!